As the 2nd edition, As Christ: A Man and Marriage, is being edited (see 1st edition here), I have been reading back through the comments that I have gotten from many ladies over the years. Below is some of the feedback that I have received. Many of these comments will be published in the new book. Men, you can learn a lot from this.
From the Ladies is based off the question: What does it mean to you that your husband follows Christ first and foremost in his life? All of the ladies are professing believers and the status of their husband’s salvation was of insignificance.
“As we talked, our journeys are different. And while my husband believes in God and is seeking His will for his life, he has many past issues he has not yet chosen to give to God. My desire for my husband is to put God first in all things. The Word places the husband as ‘head of the house’ and if my husband is struggling to live according to God’s will, then there is tension. I understand it is our responsibility to work out our own salvation, as my husband’s walk is between him and God. If my husband puts God first in all things, then he would understand the ‘peace that surpasses all understanding’. Recently, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I find rest and peace with my Father and I am not concerned with the ultimate outcome; as I know the journey is for the good and it will bring Glory to God’s Kingdom. The enemy has been very successful with reminding my husband what poor choices he has made in the past and my husband struggles to move beyond the past. I want my husband to be free from the past, free from the enemy’s ability to stir up guilt and shame, so that he might live victorious in Christ Jesus. If my husband put God first in all things, the enemy would have to go away and my husband would be free.” ~ Wenda
“My husband is confident as a lion… tender hearted as a lamb. I am blessed when we are in agreement. I trust the Lord to ‘download’ His truths and His will when we aren’t in agreement. He may not always listen to me, but he wants to hear from the Lord. He turns to Christ for guidance and strength. He is Christ-like by his sacrificial lifestyle. He sanctifies my life, by the washing of the Word. My husband’s life is a part of my destiny in Christ.” ~ Elizabeth
“Seeing my husband grow in faith and give unto Him who sacrificed Himself for us, is the best gift he could ever give to me. Receiving guidance from my husband and knowing it comes from his heart, which holds the love of Jesus Christ, is reassuring. I know he puts Christ first and I can follow his lead without hesitation. This makes my heart content in our marriage. I love the passion he has for sharing his love for Christ with friends. It makes me feel proud to hold hands and share a life with a man who isn’t afraid to proclaim his love for our Lord. What a joy and honor to be his wife.” ~ Amanda
“First and foremost, I want to express the idea that if I did not have the Lord as my Savior and Comforter, I don’t know if I would still be married to my husband. Now that he is saved, I believe we are on the same page in life as for making decisions together, praying about situations and raising our children in a godly way. Our relationship is amazing now that Jesus is the center of both of our lives and the blessings are abundant. The respect we have for one another is a whole new experience and I am excited to see what God has in store for us.” ~ Cindy
Eve was created for Adam by God removing a rib from Adam’s body and creating it into the woman that would become he wife and help mate, the two become one. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loves his bride the church. The woman is to honor her husband. One truly born again, filled with the Holy Spirit, has the love of God within their heart and is a brand new creature in Christ. This is why it is so important for the husband to be born again – he is to be head over his household. The wife also must be born again, the two equally yoked together, both serving the Lord together, training their children up in the ways of the Lord; this was, and still is, God’s ultimate plan in marriage. This means everything to me and I desire my husband to always be a follower of Jesus Christ, a strong leader, a light in our family, filled with the love of God – God first and family second. Wives we must pray daily for our husbands. ~ Lynn
“What it means to me that my husband is following Christ is by the evidence of the fruit I’m seeing. He is taking the initiative to read the Word of God. He is also attending a local body and turning his ear to hear the Spirit of the Lord speak to him through the Holy Spirit residing within him. I am also seeing that he is putting others before himself like Christ gave Himself up for the Church. That is the fruit I am witnessing in my husband.” ~ Christine
“It means my husband is the representation of Christ to me. He ministers to my needs and the needs of our family, just as Jesus loves His bride. My husband’s words are to be received with humility and joy. This doesn’t take me off the hook from drawing near to Christ myself; rather, it encourages and deepens my walk with Jesus, thus enables me to be a greater influence on my family and community. In this way, my husband is given the freedom to be all who Christ created him to be.
Following the voice of Jesus into his purpose and calling brings my husband into the joy of living the abundant life – even if we must walk the path of poverty or persecution.
My husband is not Christ and hence imperfect, so there are a checks and balances which need to be humbly put in place. When I see him stumble in his weakness, I can prayerfully lift him up, although sometimes this can be messy.” ~ Libby
“It is an honor to be married to someone who follows Christ. I also know that it is the Lord’s grace operating in my life, that I am married to a man who desires to know and serve Him. I have known my husband for 14 years and I have seen how Christ has changed him. Through this conforming, I have come to learn truth and how to walk in it. He has been my teacher, my confidant, and my shelter when I need a place to fall. I do believe that Christ is glorified through a marriage that has been surrendered to Him. And, though I may never fully understand what it means for my husband to be Christ-like in his love toward me, I know that I have experienced it in our marriage.” ~ Stacy
“To have my husband lead our family in Christ often puts me on my knees praising the Lord! It confirms that God is real, for flesh alone can’t lead in love like this without the Holy Spirit. I know and experience my Lord and Savior through my husband; for I know and see Christ operating in my life through my husband. His best love is none other than the love of Christ through him. I feel the love not only from my husband but the inexpressible graciousness of Christ. It is one of peace, understanding and holiness. It is all encompassing, healthy and selfless. I often surrender to it and want to submit and give myself to its Originator. This doesn’t mean that for me there isn’t sometimes an internal fight or a process of sanctification but rather I cry out in prayer for God to walk with me; and He does. The thought of so many women needing and wanting this kind of leadership born out of God’s perfect love, and not receiving it, burdens me, as I’m sure it burdens the Lord. If men could stop running and doing to please the Lord, or themselves, and love their wives as God has so clearly asked them, He would be far well pleased. Children’s lives would forever be changed to see this love in action.
I experience God on a daily basis knowing that the blessings He bestows on us are not selflessly consumed by my husband alone. My Lord looks to my best interest for the Kingdom ahead. Most days I praise the Lord for what He has given me according to my needs and this also includes what He has not given me. I thank Him for giving me much, yet not all I think I need. He knows me better than I know myself and this includes the gift of my husband in all he is or he isn’t. I thank God for growing my husband into the man He wills him to be, and that includes for leading me and my children. My husband is not perfect but I know the Lord is his Savior and He is in his greatest hope – completely submitted to him. I can do nothing but praise the Lord because I know He is in our home and I thank Him that our home is a sanctuary for Jesus. Victory in Christ! My prayer continues for the woman of this world to yet see this come to fruition for themselves. It makes every difference now and in my eternal future that my husband is a man seeking hard after the Lord Jesus Christ!” ~ Trish
“It means he becomes Christ-like, and ultimately if we wives follow him, we try to become Christ-like too.” ~ Paula
More to be added soon!